“LifeGem Memorials will then turn your
loved one into a beautiful diamond.”
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Advertisement for LifeGem Memorials--
specialists in turning human
remains into diamonds.
When I die, I'll be hard-pressed
to turn into a diamond
a yellowed husk of half-gram weight
estoppelled by my sojourn
from claiming polish, fit or lustre
quality or clarity
unfit to live among the stars
or any singularity
And what will Mr. Saint Pete think
when I, mortal, uncoil?--
he'll treasure gems of better cut
and send me to a mohel
to facet forty days and nights
in carborundum, tempered
by blasts of heat upon my seat
until I shine, then pester
him to try and smuggle me
past borders, snugged in colon.
He'll tell me then to kiss his ass,
and I might just oblige him.
I'll climb right in and trust for once
as I eschew my fate,
those puckered cheeks won't up and say
Oh, what ameliorate!
remains into diamonds.
When I die, I'll be hard-pressed
to turn into a diamond
a yellowed husk of half-gram weight
estoppelled by my sojourn
from claiming polish, fit or lustre
quality or clarity
unfit to live among the stars
or any singularity
And what will Mr. Saint Pete think
when I, mortal, uncoil?--
he'll treasure gems of better cut
and send me to a mohel
to facet forty days and nights
in carborundum, tempered
by blasts of heat upon my seat
until I shine, then pester
him to try and smuggle me
past borders, snugged in colon.
He'll tell me then to kiss his ass,
and I might just oblige him.
I'll climb right in and trust for once
as I eschew my fate,
those puckered cheeks won't up and say
Oh, what ameliorate!
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