a city boy's guide to the south

Welcome, friend, to the ramblings of a southerner by choice.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Exactly What Is 'Gastric Bypass NO Surgery"?


Eating Glucin Pudding with “NO” Surgery


A:
Sometimes as a copywriter, you come across a chance to to write copy for a product that is truly revolutionary and actually helps the lives of those who need this product the most I had the opportunity once to write a FAQ landing page for such a product.

B:

Oftentimes as a copywriter, you are called upon to produce text for products which may leave you feeling a little dubious. The text below was the landing page of a FAQ I developed for a company that essentially sold its jello derivative as the natural alternative to gastric bypass surgery.

A:

We as copywriters have to leave our mortal core and take on the dreams of the people who will be using our product. What do they see when their eyes close to look at their visions of heaven? How can we be love counselors or pitchmen, if we can't internalize these longings? I'll try to speak their words. What will they whisper to themselves, or refuse to whisper at all? Do they speak differently when speaking to groups or to friends? How will they go about putting their best faces on their longings and disappointments? Indulge yourself in their dreams and escapes as they see themselves thinner and more attractive. What are the subtle triggers to their tears, and how can we instantly soothe them? Go back to high school, and revisit every incident you witnessed. See the hurt persons face. Feel that pain. Know her desires at the moment.

B:
Do we as copywriters have the ability to divorce ourselves from our preconceptions and take on the persona of the people who will be listening to our words? It is only the willingness to leave the comfort of a stable persona and assume these covert identities that enables us to be effective counselors and pitchmen. I try to imagine myself writing their diary. What would they be saying about their condition solely to themselves? What will they tell friends that is different from what they will think in private, and what do they want to hide from the world at large? Put yourself in these embarrassing situations, torture yourself with the cognitive dissonances you imagine these people having. Then learn how they put their embarrassments and fears into their back pockets, then function, knowing those secret desires and cravings, and self doubts will rise again.

Without further delay, I present: “What is Gastric Bypass NO Surgery?”. A or B?


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QUESTIONS:

What do we mean by "gastric bypass NO surgery" ?:

KonaLabs™ Natural Gastric Bypass Formula is a new way of creating a natural GASTRIC BYPASS EFFECT in the stomach. Tested in Europe for the past six years, it works without the expense or risk of surgery. Simply take it with water in the morning and it quickly expands in your stomach leaving you feeling full. You'll want to eat less, up to one-half of what you ate before. As a result, you take in fewer calories and start losing weight from day one.

KonaLabs™ Natural Gastric Bypass Formula also helps eliminate cravings. The patented ingredient, β-Glucin®, helps balance your blood sugar levels almost immediately, leaving you with fewer cravings for sweets and snacks Surgery, alone, isn't capable of this. With our program, you not only eat less, you eat healthier as well!

Eat less from day one:

Because the formula physically FILLS your stomach, it reduces the amount of space available for food. You find yourself eating up to one-half of what you did previously, and yet you still feel satisfied. You reach a calorie deficiency: burning more calories than you take in. And you feel more energy! All without surgery!

Safer and healthier than gastric bypass surgery:

Over 27,000 users worldwide have now benefited from this formula. Since its introduction, the Natural Gastric Bypass Formula has achieved an overwhelming 90% success rate. Satisfied users continue to post YouTube videos sharing their stories and their successes with us. In comparison to standard bypass surgery, the Natural Gastric Bypass Formula is faster, healthier, and much less risky. And best of all, it costs only a fraction of the $15,000 or more you could spend on surgery and there are almost NO SIDE EFFECTS or complications.

KonaLabs™ Natural Gastric Bypass Formula gives you the weapon you need to win the fight against obesity. Following our formula, you will lose weight. You will look better. And your health will improve, easily and naturally. We put the power to succeed in your hands.


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